Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Oscar Wilde
I didn’t use to be a New Years Resolution type of person- but then again I didn’t use to be many of the things I am today.
I think my issue with New Years Resolutions came from the idea of a certain day being able to dictate habits and behaviors for a year. Or maybe I had an issue with setting a goal that socially everyone expects you to not keep.
Last year, 2019, I decided my New Years Resolution would be to be healthier.
Did I have any specifics for that goal? No, of course not. Did I even try to meet that goal? No, of course not.
On New Years Day it was a matter of – well today’s a holiday so I’m going to eat all the sugar and fats I want and hold a sedentary lifestyle- I’ll start tomorrow. But then I didn’t. And then since I hadn’t been able to keep my goal for two days I gave up.
It wasn’t an effort thing. Okay, it was an effort thing. But it wasn’t only an effort thing. Mostly I felt that I’d failed and standing back up after failing felt harder than giving up. I felt that I’d fucked up and that was it. Because I hadn’t done it perfectly I wouldn’t do it all.
Which I, and I’d say most of us, know is not a logical or helpful thought process, but it’s a human one and one I think we should learn to work with.
2020 I came up with the same goal. Actually, my goals are more expansive- I have goals in the areas of finance, growth, mental health and physical health- and, though it’s only a month in, I feel proud of how well I’ve done so far.
So what have I done differently?
To begin with I’ve given my goals a good framework. For health, I’m tracking my caloric intake and exercise on Noom. I find the app works well for my needs and the free version is good enough for me so I haven’t had to spend any money.
But truly the thing that’s helped- far, far beyond my better framework- is giving up my need to be perfect. Which, as funny as it sounds, I haven’t done perfectly. I still get frustrated and angry and emotional when I have a day where I don’t meet my goals.
But with a breath of fresh air, some motivation from people like The Fitness Chef, and an acceptance of being human- I’ve gotten quite a bit better at it.
For this month, maybe even for the year, I’m going to work on being okay with my own imperfections. I want to be able to accept my faults and move on to then be able to grow.
I think one of the things that I always think about is the Oscar Wilde quote: “Everything in moderation, including moderation” which I believe to be rather fitting. As I try to find balance I need to understand that sometimes that balance is having a bad day and eating more than I mean. Maybe even a lot more. But the thing that truly shows my growth is being able to make a mistake, to acknowledge that mistake, forgive myself and then start afresh the next day.
